Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Oh No, Laser Temptations, Yet Again.

The Montreal Laser fleet is bugging me. They annoy me pretty consistently around this time of year. They had a lot of gall announcing their spring training camp yesterday. It's January. It's snowing outside right now. I'm watching it accumulate on the outdoor furniture this very moment. According to the official demographic experts, sailors are commonly skiing right now. Louis and those sly marketing dinghy people even say they are going to make training camp less expensive this year. Don't they know the same demographics I read?

Demographics of a Sailor

    * 94% of sailors are male
    * The average age of a sailor is 55 and married.
    * 78% are college graduates
    * 48% have post grads or degrees
    * Average household income is $239,500
    * Average household net worth is $1,360,000
    * 94% of sailors own their own home.
    * 91% of sailors fall into the managerial, professional or technical fields

Sources: SAIL Magazine Subscriber Study 2003 MR! 2008, MMR 2008
Sailors hike, backpack, swim, cycle, ski, jog, or play tennis.

Okay, so listen up District 2 Laser class. You have no right successfully drumming up another one design fleet. Don't you know sailboat racing decreased in popularity in Montreal last season? Supposedly, we're all too old! We make way too much money to sail wee little boats. And, I repeat, it's winter, so we really aren't supposed to be tempted into thinking about a much more exciting boat. Please go skiing.

It's almost unscrupulous to tempt us now. I just received a new fitted winter cover for my old Shark (keelboat) to replace the torn, heavily snow-laden plastic tarp. That is all I am supposed to be thinking about right now. I just finished paying big yacht club bills last month. I'm trying to figure out how to buy new a new windward sheeting car and a big genoa. How did you know I don't fit the wealthy old man demographic? Now, you go and get me thinking about the same thing as last year: inexpensive sailing. C'mon, what an oxymoron! Don't you know I'm way too rich, and way too old for a Laser? I should be buying a brand new Etchells and paying some rock star to guide me around the course in Florida, or at least go up against the very friendly Etchells gang competing here. Oh no, you go and post notices of 2nd hand lasers that cost less than I paid for sails, and freakin' boat and trailer maintenance last season. Just stop it you guys. And, if I hear there might be a few good lookin' women in your fleet, well that would be the last straw.

Nuff said,
Ralph, Montreal Sailing